Category: Cover Letters

I received a resume from a job seeker with a cover letter that created false expectations.  The cover letter indicated that the job seeker was currently employed with the Federal Bureau of Investigation.  It didn’t give any details of the individual’s career – just that he worked for the FBI.

I expected the job seeker to have a law enforcement background.  We work with a lot of former military officers with security, law enforcement and intelligence background.  Reading that the individual was from the FBI, I assumed that he had a background that was related to these fields.  I was completely wrong.

The job seeker was a public relations specialist, with significant marketing, graphic design and multimedia design experience.  Although he interacted with law enforcement personnel, his role was entirely focused on PR. 

The problem with the cover letter was that it directed me down a particular thought process that was unrelated to the candidate.  A much better cover letter would have highlighted the public relations experience of the job seeker.  Mentioning the FBI in the cover letter is good, but emphasizing the career of the job seeker is essential.  The best cover letters show the value that a job seeker will provide an employer.  This requires describing past accomplishments.

Because my firm works some security positions, I read the resume close enough to understand the candidate’s experience.  If I specialized in graphic design and PR roles, there’s a chance that I might discard the resume after reading just the cover letter.

When you write your cover letter, make sure it focuses on the value you would bring to an organization.  This requires you to create a clear picture of what you do and how successful you are at doing it.  If you don’t make this clear, the impression you give may not match reality.

Below is the cover letter from an resume I received by email this week:

**************Plan your next getaway with AOL Travel. Check out Today's Hot
5 Travel Deals!
(  — Link to AOL Travel —  )

This email wasn't spam.   There was a resume attached and it was from a job seeker interested in an opportunity.  Other than deleting the link, the text of the cover letter is complete, exactly as I received it.

This isn't really a cover letter.  It's the signature that AOL automatically puts in every email sent out.  It would not have taken much time to put in a message.  At the least, the job seeker could have written something like this:

To whom it may concern,

Please accept my resume for consideration.

<Job Seeker's Name>

My version would be a bad cover letter, but significantly better than just an AOL Travel advertisement.  What the job seeker sent was just terrible.

My Reaction

When I opened the email and saw an ad, my first reaction was to delete it.  The one word subject, "Resume," caught my eye right before I hit delete. I realized this was actually a submission from a candidate and not spam.  I very surprised that this didn't end up in my spam folder – it is just an ad.  Somehow, it slipped through. 

As I write this, I haven't decided if I'm going to open the resume.  The "cover letter" has given me enough information to know whether I want to represent this candidate.  Even if the resume looks good, I have to question the professionalism of a candidate that sends each resume with just a travel ad.  If they aren't willing to spend a few seconds typing a short message, how committed are they to their job search and their career? 

Bottom line: Make your resume submission a persuasive sales pitch for you – not for AOL.

Although there were a lot of mistakes in the cover letters we benchmarked, six stood out as the worst.  Below is an excerpt from our Cover Letter Best Practices Report.

Worst Mistakes

Being Unprofessional: Using an informal salutation won’t help and most likely will make a poor impression. If you aren’t going to address the letter in a serious manner, why should a hiring manager take your resume seriously.

Being Sexiest: It was surprising to find cover letters addressed “Dear Sir” and “Gentlemen.” Even if the job seeker intended no offense to female hiring managers, by addressing this way, they are showing that they are not aware of how this might be perceived – not the impression you want to make. Even with male hiring managers, this will make a bad impression. Most hiring managers will conclude that the job seeker has the potential to be an EEOC or Sexual Harassment liability. The downside for the company is too great to risk, and the job seeker’s resume will probably be discarded.

Wrong Customization: A number of the submissions were addressed to the firm, not an individual. In these cases, one spelled the name of the firm wrong and one had left the name of another company in the salutation, forgetting to replace the name from the last time they sent the same cover letter. Needless to say, neither of these mistakes made a good impression.

Spelling: The majority of cover letters had no spelling mistakes. The ones that did have mistakes, tended to have multiple mistakes. The two spelling mistakes that were the most entertaining were:

– A job seeker, in the first sentence of their cover letter, wrote that they were “seeking a challanging, new position which will utilize my skills and allow me to make a substantive impact.” They should focus on the challenging task of learning to spell challenging.

– A job seeker wrote a lengthy cover letter that focused almost entirely on an MBA they recently received. The letter was 2 paragraphs, 178 words, dedicated to their education and how it would be a benefit to an employer. This would not be a problem if they could spell the University of “Pheonix.”

My Name Is: A number of cover letters start out with the first sentence stating the name of the job seeker. The first sentence of a cover letter is the most likely to be read. Wasting this prime real estate on your name makes it much more likely the reader will skip the cover letter and move on to the resume.

Too Much Hype: Some of the cover letters examined were submitted to confidential employers, where the name of the company was not disclosed. Despite this, some of these included gushing statements of how the job seeker was extremely impressed with the company due to their excellent quality, track record and reputation. You can get away with blanket statements like this if you know who the company is. Doing this when it is clear you know nothing about the company will make one of two impressions. First, you are exaggerating everything you write and it can’t be trusted. Second, you’re making up whatever you think the hiring manager wants to hear, so nothing you write can be trusted.

Palladian International conducted a benchmarking survey of cover letters used by active job seekers. This survey examined a variety of characteristics of cover letters in order to identify the best practices that job seekers should employ. The survey also uncovered a number of common mistakes that job seekers make.

Best Practices

1. Write a Customized Cover Letter: Very few of the submissions included a customized cover letter. The vast majority either omitted the cover letter or had an overly general letter. Personalizing a cover letter’s salutation and customizing the body of the letter to the position will help create a compelling presentation. Customization also demonstrates effort and initiative.
2. Give a Reason to Hire: The vast majority of cover letters made blanket statements similar to “I am confident that I am the best candidate for the position” or “I am confident I will be extremely successful in your organization.” These statements do little to help impress the hiring manager. One of the primary purposes of a cover letter is to generate interest and sell the job seeker. Do this with tangible accomplishments. A very limited percentage of cover letters focused on significant, specific accomplishments. Including just one accomplishment can help validate the remainder of the cover letter and get the hiring manager excited. The best cover letters had 3 or more accomplishments that directly related to the position the job seeker was pursuing.
3. Give Information Not on the Resume: Only 8% of cover letters gave a reason why the job seeker was looking for a career change. This is a question that virtually every hiring manager will want answered. More importantly, if your cover letter and resume make a strong case for your track record of success, the question may come up: “If they are so good, why are they looking for a job?” There can be a lot of good reasons to look for a job. If you don’t include your reason in the cover letter, you open the door for doubting the credibility of your success.
4. Keep it Short: The best cover letters had between 150 and 250 words. Letters that were 400+ words, on average, contained less content and were less valuable than the shorter letters.
5. Make it Easy to Scan: The best cover letters utilized bullets with titles making it easy to scan the letter quickly. This improved the readability of the letter. Cover letters should draw the reader’s attention to the most important information. Once the reader focuses on the key points, they are more likely to read the entire cover letter and then read the resume thoroughly.

What if companies wrote ads the way most job seekers write cover letters? Here’s my version of a direct mail letter that you might receive from a car company:

Dear Car Buyer:

We are seeking an individual to buy a car we are selling. Our ideal customer will have good credit and be willing to pay top dollar. We strongly prefer customers that will provide repeat business to us. We are in need of boosting our revenues and are looking for an opportunity to grow our profits. I am certain you will find the car we are selling is ideal for fit for your needs.

This car is a true standout in market. It drives and provides an excellent means of transportation. In addition, it offers the ability to carry goods in various storage locations as wall as convey multiple individuals.

We are absolutely certain that, if you just give us a chance to prove our car in a test drive, you will agree this is the best car on the market for you. With it’s excellent track record, it is certain to make a substantial impact on your goals.

I look forward to setting up a test drive for you today!

Sincerely,

Mega Car Dealer

If you received this, would you rush out to buy this car?  What make and model of car does the letter describe?

I receive cover letters like this all the time. They have no personalization. The benefits the job seeker might provide one of my clients are so general that they are meaningless. The letter focuses on the needs of the job seeker. Finally, too many cover letters make over exaggerated claims of being perfect for the company, but give no reason why they’re any good.

Here’s the first paragraph of a cover letter I got today.

Hi,

I am <Full Name> and I am looking for gainful employment with a company that is seeking professionalism, transitional skills, and someone to become an asset to their company.

My first impression is that this is a little too informal – I don’t see many cover letters that start with “Hi”. After this, the introduction of “I am <Name>…” is a waste of space.

The rest is very bland. It essentially says that the job seeker is looking for a job and that the company they want to work for will hire people that professional, skilled and a benefit to the company – as opposed to all the companies out there that try to hire unprofessional, unskilled people that are a detriment to their company.

Another problem with this is that the job seeker doesn’t say they meet these very low requirements.

Now, this job seeker is actually a senior manager in the IT field, and they have some good skills and experience.

Here’s a reworded version that I would prefer:

To whom it may concern:

I am an extremely experienced IT manager with a successful track record of selling large IT systems to commercial and government customers. I am seeking a sales management or account management role, where I can utilize my experience at opening new accounts and winning government contracts.

The reason I like this working is twofold. First, it is specific. It states clearly what the job seeker is seeking. Instead of “gainful employment,” the role and industry are clearly mentioned. Second, the statement goes on to show what the job seeker will do for the company – open new accounts and win government contracts.

Remember, the cover letter is just a teaser to get the reader interested. It should focus on how the job seeker is going to provide a benefit to the company – and not just say “and be an asset to the company.”