cover letter Archives - Palladian Career Resources

Telling Hiring Managers What They Want

I receive cover letters on a regular basis that try to define the hiring criteria for the hiring manager. Most hiring managers know what they are looking for when hiring. They might have some flexibility in the criteria, but generally they know what types of skills, experiences and abilities will make someone successful. As a job seeker, it’s a waste of time to try to persuade them to change their criteria. Despite this, some job seekers lead off their cover letters with instructions for how to hire.

The cover letter I read today did just that. Below are the first few lines of the letter:

Today's market require a sales representative that is versatile, competitive, unrelenting and strategic. If that set of skills can also harness the new technologies found in the marketplace, then you have a solid member to any organization that is positioning, marketing and selling their product. I am such an individual.

The qualities mentioned above sound good… versatile, competitive, unrelenting, strategic and able to harness technologies. They may not be the top priorities for the hiring manager. An ability to cold call, generate referrals or up sell clients into higher margin products may be the key concerns of the hiring manager. Focusing on a different set of skills will not win the hiring manager over.

This tactic has one other major problem. There are hiring managers who will read the cover letter and picture the person telling them how to run the department. A manager does not want someone who will question and challenge every decision and assignment. This is too time consuming for a manager. The manager may want input and ideas from time to time, but they also want a person who will follow the systems and processes.

The job seeker could easily change the cover letter to highlight the same skills but not lecture the hiring manager. For example:

I am a committed, competitive and unrelenting sales professional, able to adapt quickly and focus on strategic activities that will grow sales. I have consistently used new and cutting edge technologies to gain an edge over my competition in the marketplace.

This intro focuses on the job seeker, not the hiring criteria.

Cover Letter Credibility

The cover letter l read this morning contained several statements designed to make a personal connection with a hiring manager, but failed dismally. The cover letter was too wordy and faked an interest in an employer.

How can I be so sure the interest in the employer is faked? Easily, the cover letter and resume were posted online. They were not sent to a specific company. There is no way for the job seeker to know who is going to read his resume. Below is how he started his cover letter:

I am looking for a dynamic and challenging position where I can utilize my leadership, operations, and human resources expertise. I am familiar with your organization and am extremely interested in working for a company of this caliber.

Making the claim of being familiar with the organization, when the job seeker has no idea who is going to read the resume hurts the overall impression and credibility of the job seeker. My reaction is to consider this a bunch of BS and to expect the rest of the cover letter and the resume to more of the same. The job seeker now has an uphill battle to win me over.

The cover letter would have been much stronger if it had skipped this first paragraph entirely. The next paragraph focused on the candidate’s skills and abilities. It’s not perfect, but makes a fair impression and would be fine without the intro in the first paragraph.

Remember your audience, a resume screener or hiring manager, will be skeptical when reading your resume and cover letter. They know each job seeker tries to create the best sales pitch. Part of the assessment is looking for claims that are not credible and exaggerations that overly inflate the candidate’s experience. You do not want to hurt your credibility by including information that is obviously untrue. Your resume may only get a 15 to 30 second look initially. You have a lot of competition and it is easy for a hiring manager to reject you and move on to the next resume. Don’t give them a reason at the start to reject you.

Ten Cover Letter Introductions

Read the greeting and first sentence of 10 cover letters from active job seekers.

You should have a cover letter when you are sending your resume to an employer. The cover letter demonstrates professionalism (most of the time) and introduces you to the employer. Cover letters are typically skimmed very quickly by hiring managers, so they need to be short and concise. They also need to grab the reader’s attention quickly.

I collected the greeting and first sentence from ten cover letters to show what some job seekers write:

Hi,

As you can see in the enclosed resume…

Assessment: “Hi” is too informal and the intro makes me want to skip the cover the go directly to the resume. Don’t start a cover letter with something saying you are going to repeat information in the resume.

Dear —. Whomever: (if you do not have a name, eliminate this line completely)

Throughout my management career , I have delivered strong and measurable results, meeting the many challenges presented.

Assessment: If you use a template, make sure you change it. A cover letter like this may be the fastest way to get rejected.

I am currently looking for a management or staff position in environmental and/or safety.

Assessment: A cover letter should have a greeting – “Dear Hiring Manager,” “To whom it may concern,” or “Dear Sir/Madam” all work and take very little effort to add. Ideally, you will address a specific person, but often this isn’t possible. The first line is all about the candidate and not about the company. A better way to start is to describe your strongest attribute.

Dear Sir, Madam

I am a results-oriented, high-energy, hands-on professional, with more than 15 years of business development experience, working in multinational firms.

Assessment: This isn’t bad. It’s professional and focuses on the skills of the job seeker. It’s vague – business development is very broad. This could be better by being a little more specific.

I am a highly motivated self starting project manager that is capable of handeling multiple projects.

Assessment: The cover letter should have a greeting. The sentence is very vague – “project manager” can be used to describe numerous different jobs and fields. Finally, a simple spell check would catch the misspelling of “handeling.”

Dear Personnel Director:

I would like to express my enthusiastic interest in a Supply Chain/Logistics Manager/Materials Manager position with your organization.

Assessment: This is a simple statement of objective. It isn’t a bad way to start, but could be stronger will some statement of the skills and abilities of the job seeker.

Dear Sir/Madam:

Having successfully advanced corporate performance and productivity through skillful development of technical training programs that align employee needs and requirements with the organizational mission,

Assessment: This is only the first half of the first sentence. It is extremely wordy and ineffective. A cover letter needs to be concise and clear. This fails at both.

Dear Human Resources Department,

I am looking for a dynamic and challenging position where I can utilize my leadership, operations, and human resources expertise.

Assessment: The sentence is an objective, but incredibly vague. It essentially says “I’m looking for a job.” The cover letter would be much better is this sentence was deleted.

To whom it may concern;

Below is a summary of my Program Management experience:

Assessment: This cover letter was essentially a bulleted list of experiences and accomplishments. Of all the cover letters in this group, it was the most focused on information valuable to the hiring manager. Despite this, the cover letter is abrupt. There needs to be more than just “Below is a list of stuff…” to start.

Dear Recruiting Officer.

Starting at <company name> in <city, ST> back in 1983, I’ve had a number of exciting, fulfilling, and challenging positions and opportunities.

Assessment: For confidentiality, I deleted the company name and location of the job seeker from the sentence above. This sentence is a terrible way to start a cover letter. This reads like a children’s story… “Once upon a time, at a company far, far away, I had an exciting career.”

A cover letter is a sales pitch with the goal of trying to get the reader excited about reading the resume. It should be short, concise and focused on the value the job seeker would provide the company. The best way to demonstrate value is to give examples of accomplishments and achievements.

Cover Letter Templates

Using a template to write your cover letter can make it a lot easier. We provide a three templates in our Cover Letter Best Practices Report and there are a ton of templates available on the web. If you use a template to get started, make sure you customize it.

Using a template to write your cover letter can make it a lot easier. If you use a template to get started, make sure you customize it. Even the best designed template will not match your situation exactly. There will be changes you need to make.

Failing to customize a template to your situation can make a very bad impression. This is especially true with the resume I received recently. The cover letter started with the candidate’s name and contact information. I have copied below the cover letter, without any changes, from that point to the greeting.

Actual start of a job seeker’s cover letter:

(6 blank lines)

Date

(4 blank lines)

Name
Company
Address
City, ST ZIP

RE: Position Title

Dear —. Whomever:

This cover letter is a disaster, and it’s tough to imagine the job seeker making a worse impression. The job seeker left the two instructional lines, calling for leaving 6 and 4 lines of space. The candidate failed to replace any of customizing tags, such as the date and position title with the actual date and position title.

This isn’t rocket science. If you use a template and it has a placeholder like “Dear — Whomever:,” you need to change this. The cover letter shows so little effort and attention to detail, I have trouble seeing why I would want to read the candidate’s resume, and I can’t imagine ever wanting to interview the candidate.

What is really sad is the number of resumes I receive with cover letters like this. Don’t make this mistake. Spend the extra twenty of thirty seconds to type in the date, position title and some greeting other than “if you do not have a name, eliminate this line completely.”

Credible Cover Letters

When a hiring manager starts to read your cover letter and resume, you have no credibility. The reader doesn’t know you. They don’t know if they can trust you or if you are prone to exaggeration and lying.
This lack of credibility is highlighted when a job seeker leads off their cover letter with a boastful statement.

This mistake was exhibited in the cover letter I received today. The first sentence was pure hype:

When I saw your job listing I could not believe the uncanny resemblance of my experience to your specified duties.

Claims like this are common, but are unlikely to be believed. If you were hiring and received a bunch of resumes with claims like this, would you believe all of them? You can’t. Every applicant isn’t perfect.

In reviewing the job and resume closely, the candidate’s qualifications are not ideal. The job seeker had no experience in the industry of the company and the job seeker did not have a key technical skill. The candidate does have experience with most of the responsibilities of the positions.

A much better approach for this job seeker would have been to focus on the experience and skills of the job seeker. The job seeker was pursuing an industrial sales position and has extensive sales experience. A better start to the cover letter would have been:

I am a highly successful sales professional, with more than 25 years of industrial and technical sales experience, and am interested in your technical sales opportunity.

This sentence starts to establish some credibility by showing the candidate’s 25 years of experience. The next step is to show the performance of the job seeker through examples of his track record of success. A couple accomplishments will make a good impression.

When you write your cover letter, make sure you focus on substance and not hype.

Wordiness on a Cover Letter

A cover letter needs to be clear and concise to be effective. Awkward and wordy sentences will discourage a hiring manager from reading the entire cover letter and will make a poor impression before the reader gets to the resume. Unfortunately, many writers struggle with identifying wordy phrases in their own writing.

Passive Voice

Many job seekers write in passive voice. It provides a weak presentation. The bullet below is written with an indirect passive style that moves the core activity of the job seeker to the end of the sentence.

I've consulted for <company> on a project that involved evaluating, creating then implementing learning paths for <client company>.

This sentence is longer than it needs to be and uses a very weak structure. To improve the sentence, take the primary verb and move it to the start of the sentence.

I evaluated, created and implemented learning paths for <client company> as a consultant at <company>.

Emphasizing the Wrong Information

This bullet emphasizes the job title and company name instead of the experience.

During my stint as the <job title> at <company>, I had to create then implement a rapid development system for developing Flash-based elearning modules to be delivered globally.

The work experience section of the resume details the positions held by the job seeker. There is no reason to repeat the details here.

I created and implemented a rapid development system for designing Flash-based elearning modules to be delivered globally.

Eventually

One word can destroy the impact of a bullet on your resume. The job seeker states that they “eventually” produced a successful result. This implies that path to success was very long… longer than expected.

My team eventually successfully designed and developed 6 hours of WBT that was delivered to support a new software configuration.

A better option is to focus on the verb and object, and leave the “eventually” out.

I led the design team that developed 6 hours of WBT supporting a new software configuration.

Review Your Cover Letter and Resume

Look at each sentence of your cover letter and resume and pick out the single most important verb. Try to rewrite the sentence to start with that verb. Delete any elements that are unnecessary. In each of the examples, I reduced the word count but maintained the core message of the sentence. Cutting out non-essential words and focusing on the actions (leading with the verbs) will improve the impact of your writing.

Interview Skills in a Cover Letter

I read a cover letter today that did something I see very rarely. It focused on elements that are critical to a recruiter and usually overlooked by job seekers. A cover letter with a sales pitch for the candidate isn’t unique. What was unique was how the cover letter focused on attributes that a recruiter seeks.

I read a cover letter today that did something I see rarely. It focused on elements that are critical to a recruiter, but usually overlooked by job seekers. A cover letter with a sales pitch for the candidate isn’t unique. What was unique was how the cover letter focused on attributes that a recruiter seeks.

Below are three sentences taken from the cover letter:

I interview well and have appropriate skill sets for large scale operations. I possess excellent verbal and written language skills. My style is articulate while always remaining humble and connected to my audience.

What set this cover letter apart was the mention of the candidate’s interview skills. The experience, skills and accomplishments of a job seeker are important, but this is only a portion of what a recruiter looks for in a candidate. The other component that recruiters want to see in a candidate is the ability of the candidate to sell themselves in an interview.

For a recruiter, it is important that a candidate can articulate their strengths and potential. A candidate with a great resume and terrible interview and communications skills will often be rejected for a candidate that interviews better. Additionally, candidates that interview very poorly can hurt a relationship with a client if the client thinks the recruiter cannot find the best candidates.

This makes it essential to quickly assess the job seeker’s interview skill. The cover letter addresses this with three sentences focused on the candidate’s interview and communications skills. This claim impresses me a lot, but not because the job seeker is a good interviewer.

I read cover letters and resumes every day that make claims about skills and abilities. Some are true while others prove to be exaggerations. There is nothing in the cover letter to convince me the job seeker’s claim of having excellent interview skills is an accurate assessment.

The reason the focus on interview skills impressed me was the job seeker thought about what would be important to me. Many candidates focus on what is important to them. This could be their goals and objectives. It could include specific experiences or accomplishments they are especially proud of. Unfortunately, what is important to a job seeker is not necessarily important to the hiring manager.

A Cover Letter Without Complete Sentences

I read a cover letter today that didn’t have a single complete sentence. Each sentence was written without a subject and many didn’t have a verb. The letter was nothing more than a collection of phrases and buzzwords. I’ve included most of the cover letter below, with identifying information removed.

Twenty years of sales experience with a proven track record and many achievements to mention! Caring and compassion to provide patients with quality products is important. Enjoy running a territory as if it was my own business and exceed at building and maintaining both new and existing relationships to maximize sales growth. Extensive experience calling on key personnel within hospitals and surgery centers.

This letter reads like a resume. It is common to omit the personal pronouns from a resume. This is the accepted style. In fact, the paragraph from the cover letter, with a few changes, could be used as a professional summary at the top of the resume.

A cover letter is different. The goal of a cover letter is to grab the attention of the reader and motivate them to want to read the resume. To do this, you need to make a connection with reader. Cover letters are direct, one-on-one communications between a job seeker and a hiring manager. It should be written like a business letter, with a personal, but professional style. The letter above does not fit this mold.

The first sentence of a cover letter should be direct and simple. It should have subject-verb-object structure. I read cover letters routinely that have complicated structures. This just discourages me from reading the entire cover letter. One of the sentence structures I do not like takes a modifying phrase and moves it to the beginning of the sentence. For example, “Possessing 10 years of experience in the widget industry, I have excellent management skills and an ability to drive performance and cut cost.” I would prefer a much more direct format. For example, “I have excellent management skills, gained through 10 years in the widget industry, enabling me to drive performance and cut costs.”

The cover letter I received is nothing more than a collection of phrases. After reading the first line, my impression was confusion. The structure did not fit what I expected. Now, it only took a second or two to figure out the format and structure, and this may seem inconsequential. The problem with this cover letter is that my first reaction was negative and my focus, even if for only a couple seconds, was on structure, not the content of the cover letter. The end effect was to cause me to question whether I should read the cover letter just a few seconds after looking at it.

It is important to remember that hiring managers screen large numbers of resumes at a time. Your cover letter and resume may only get a 15 to 30 look before the reader decides to discard it. This requires a structure and style that can be easily understood.

What Value Does Your Cover Letter Add?

Cover letters introduce your resume and influence how closely your resume will be read. An effective cover letter will get the reader excited to learn more. To do this, the cover letter needs to provide value beyond the resume.

One cover letter I received was simply a shortened version of the resume. The content was good, and I thought it was a good cover letter after reading it. My opinion changed after reading the resume.

The cover letter was close to a full page – over 200 words. It followed a typical format – it started with an introduction statement explaining the background of the job seeker, listed a number of accomplishments and concluded with statement that the candidate is looking forward to discussing opportunities with the company.

The resume was a little long, around 700 words, and followed a standard structure. It had a summary statement at the top, followed by the employment history and concluded with an education section. Like the cover letter, it wasn’t bad. Looking at the resume by itself, I thought it was ok. Not perfect, but it made a good impression.

The problem was putting the two documents together. The introduction statement of the cover letter was word for word identical to the summary statement on the resume. The accomplishments in the cover letter were also word for word identical to bullets in the work experience section.

My feeling after reading the two documents was the job seeker had wasted my time. Duplicating the information annoyed me. I would have preferred if the cover letter added something unique. This job seeker had a great progression, but had worked for their most recent employer for less than a year and just lost their job. An explanation of why would have helped.

Another effective way to structure the cover letter would have been to take only one or two of the accomplishments (instead of the seven listed in the cover letter) and tell the story behind them. A paragraph giving a lot of detail of why the accomplishment is significant could make it impressive. Listing the shorter bullet of the accomplishment in the resume would then be ok, since it shows when in the person’s career the accomplishment occurred and it would only be one item being repeated.

There may be a good reason to duplicate a limited amount of information from your resume in your cover letter. Just make sure that your cover letter is adding value and does not repeat everything word for work.

Sentence Structure

I updated some of my social media accounts this weekend. My motivation was twofold. First, some of accounts badly needed an update to the design and content. I had not updated some of the information in the last couple years and it showed. The second reason was motivated by one of the blog readers. She pointed out that the writing style and sentence structure of my LinkedIn account wasn’t consistent. When I reviewed, I realized this was a generous assessment – my LinkedIn profile was awful.

I had setup my LinkedIn account a couple years ago and used my bio from my website. My bio is written in a 3^rd person style and this is suitable to a corporate website. On LinkedIn, the style should be more personal, and written in the first person. The same goes for other social media sites. I’m still working on updating and improving – these are going to be a work in progress. That’s a lot better than what they were, though… stale and out-of-date.

So, what does this have to do with a job search? The sentence structure of a cover letter and resume need to be written professionally and in a suitable style.

A cover letter is a business letter from you to another individual. As a result, it should be written directly in the 1^st person. Do not refer to yourself in the 3^rd person. It makes a very poor impression.

The resume should have a different style. It should be written in an implied first person. This structure starts with the personal pronoun “I” but this word is omitted. For example, “Managed the production department” is a sentence that has an implied subject – the “I” is left off the beginning of the sentence. This style is appropriate for a resume.

Write your resume in the 1st person but avoid using “I” or your name in your resume.

I’m still working on improving my profiles online. On LinkedIn (www.linkedin.com/in/garycapone), I accept all invitations to connect and have over 2,500 connections. You can invite me to connect at [email protected]. I setup a Twitter account this weekend (www.twitter.com/garycapone). The other account I updated was Facebook. This is the one account I don’t accept every invitation. I’m limiting it to people I know and have established personal relationship.